广州 -我们去买东西！ China, seems to be, in many ways, very similar to life here in the US. People are out & about everywhere, doing the same things we do here. A typical shopping mall in a large city like Guangzhou, as pictured, is a good example. But there are some marked differences. As an adoptive group, living in 5 star hotels and having the money with you to do what you need, it can seem a little Rosy at times. The Chinese people still do not have nearly as much money in comparison to a US family of similar social stature. I'll state somethings both positive & negative about my experiences in China. I'm 51 years old and so I've seen a lot of things decline in the US. For instance, I do not feel safe going downtown in a major city in the US. Even if it is a polished up urban renewal area, there always seem to be the gangs, drug dealers, prostitutes and thieves lurking about. In China, I simply do not see that. It's probably there & I don't recognize it, but I and others have felt a surprising sense of safety in the cities. In Beijing, Chongqing, Kunming & Guangzhou, I felt as if I could walk by myself loaded up with camera gear & walk around with no fear of being victimized. My guide William simply stated it on my first trip: "The cities of China are very safe". It reminds me of a Mayberry sort of childhood I had in a small hometown of Folsom, California, where parents can let their children walk around without much worry. With this, I also find that most Chinese people on the streets are very friendly and love to chat with you, if you can get past their initial shyness. I am so glad I learned to speak Mandarin, albeit at only a first grade level, so that I could explain who we were, where we were from and what motivates us to adopt the Chinese children. Almost always, the responses were a thumbs up with thanks for having a big heart and helping. Another contrast is that Chinese people simply love to be outdoors in the parks enjoying life. It's not like here where I felt that if I did not have my kids in t-ball, soccer and all the fund raising stuff (including push long distance telephone services) that I was not doing my "duty" as a parent. Rather, they play board games, they dance, sing, do skits, exercise and play badmitten .. all just for fun. And again, because there is little crime, they don't have any fear of hanging out in the parks doing that. In downtown Sacramento near our home, we simply avoid the parks for fear of a drive by shooting, or mentally ill vagrants harassing you; we just do not go there, Instead, we have family get togethers here at homes or in a gated communities' pool area. Another thing I like .. service. Perhaps it's because we are white and so obviously different but every place we went, a store, the hotel, a restaurant, it is common to have 5 people all trying to help you at the same time. And if they can't help they rush to find someone who speaks better English. And they laugh & joke with you. In contrast here, I often go to a large store push a button for service, have 3 employees ignore me on purpose by not making eye contact. Another thing is the respect for Elders there. Here, we have retirement communities and younger people muse about how old people can't drive and generally treat them with little respect. As we slow down in life, we are met with impatience and sarcasm. That does not yet exist for the most part in China. Elders are to be respected; it simply is not tolerable to them to do otherwise. So there is my rose-colored glass view. Now for some negative things. I will do this with some humor. I don't really like the fact that elder women on the street may chew you out for things in her own language concerning your newly adopted baby, like not keeping her arms & legs covered when it is hot outside or if the child sucks her thumb; I rather think they should understand that picking one's nose or spitting is worse (which is commonplace in China). I do not like the frequent smell of methane wafting up through grates in the city streets. I do not like that the city rivers look worse than gray water & sewage dumped from a motor home. I do not like the smog in most major cities that is only relieved by rain occasionally. I don't mind blatant staring, it's understandable but some people might find that rude. I really am not much a a bargaining type of person and for everyday items, merchants will try to take you to the cleaners ( literally in some cases :-) . They might ask you 250 yuan for something that a Chinese person would pay 15 yuan for. If you are ignorant & give them more, I believe they just consider it good luck that an American passed their way. The driving there amazes me (but it is not as bad as the traffic in Manila was when I lived in the Philippines 30 years ago). People, bicycles, electric scooters, buses, taxis and pedestrians just all seem to mingle together and move around .. somehow it is all done in a civil manor with no road rage ever seen. In summary on this post, even the negative things I mentioned seem to me to be part of just enjoying the experience of the culture in China. Both of my trips there have been wonderful. I really do love the people & the culture of China, find them very hospitable and tolerant, and I consider it a great privilege and responsibility to do my best to be a good father and provider for my adopted Chinese daughters. Thank you William, Sunny, Susan and Wenzi (our Chinese guides) for helping to make our adoption trip so enjoyable. Special thanks also to Julie, our Dillon China Program person ( and of course Denise at Dillon. Thanks for the encouragement during this loooong process).
